A Third, Invisible Option That Could Change Everything
Photo by JOSHUA COLEMAN on Unsplash
Today, I want to share with you one of the secrets of the universe. Well, that was quite dramatic. Let me try again: I want to share with you an ah-ha moment that has drastically changed the way I choose.
It involves a third, invisible option that we aren’t trained to see.
Take a little trip with me in your mind, okay?
It’s Saturday morning. You’ve stopped into the Nordstrom Rack to pick up a pair of sunglasses for your tropical vacation coming up next week. (It’s pretty good so far, right?!?) While you’re there, you see a super cute pair of pink pumps on sale for $95 that would make a fantastic addition to your closet.
Instantly, your mind presents you with a question: “Should I buy the shoes?” And automatically, your logical mind engages in a process of deciding whether or not to buy the shoes…
“They would go with 2 of the dresses I’m taking on the trip!”
“I’ve always wanted a pair of pink pumps!”
“I’m supposed to be saving for spending money for the trip.”
“I’ll have to put them on my credit card today, but I can pay them off next month.”
“You only live once! Get the shoes!”
While all this chatter is going on in our minds, there’s a third, invisible option that our binary brains are not trained to see. We instantly go into the yes or no of the shoes, but never seem to stop and ask:
“If I had $95 in my hand right now, what would I choose?”
Pink pumps? A massage on your tropical vacation? Investing into your retirement account? Groceries for the week? There’s no right or wrong. This isn’t about guilt. It’s about opening up your mind to a set of choices you couldn’t previously see.
When I started interrupting my binary decision making process with this third invisible option, so much opened up for me. Not only with spending and money, but also with time.
Imagine this: Your friend calls and asks if you want to meet up for happy hour after work. Immediately, your brain kicks in with a list of pros and cons to get you to a yes or a no.
Or you could ask: If I had 3 extra hours available in my day, how would I choose to spend them?
The third, invisible option may bring up all sorts of contributive choices that you hadn’t even thought of before your friend asked about happy hour, like:
Taking a walk after work then going for a smoothie
Spending an hour working on the book project you’ve been neglecting
Taking your kiddos to the bingo game at your neighborhood burger spot
Again, there’s nothing wrong with happy hours or pink pumps! My hope is that once you see the third, invisible option you’ll feel empowered with all the choices available.
Here’s a challenge for you: Find one time this week when you can unlock a third, invisible choice.
What was it like? Did anything change for you? Let’s chat about it over coffee. Find a time that works for you here.